neezal

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, when the road you're trudging seems all uphill, when the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile but you have to sigh, when care is pressing you down a bit - rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Name:
Location: Johor Bahru, Johor, Malaysia

Being "out of box" as Lewis Timberlake says.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Did anyone ever tell you?

Did Anyone Ever Tell You,
Just How Special You Are,The Light That You Emit
Might Even Light A Star

Did Anyone Ever Tell You,
How Important You Make Others Feel, Somebody Out Here Is Smiling,
About Love That Is So Real

Did Anyone Ever Tell You,
Many Times, When They Were Sad,
Your E-mail Made Them Smile A Bit
In Fact It made Them Glad

For the Time You Spend Sending Things,
And Sharing Whatever You Find,
There Are No Words To Thank You
But Somebody, Thinks You're Fine

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Life Is For Living

Life is a gift we're given each and every day. Dream about tomorrow, but live for today.
To live a little, you've got to love a whole lot.
Love turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.
Life's a journey always worth taking.
Take time to smell the roses... and tulips... and daffodils... and lilacs... and sunflowers...
Count blessings like children count stars.
The secret of a happy life isn't buried in a treasure chest... it lies within your heart. It's the little moments that make life big.
Don't wait.
Make memories today.
Celebrate your life!

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Remembering you

By Catherine Pulsifer

If something were to happen to you tomorrow,
what would people remember about you?
Would they remember the hours you worked?
Would they remember the material things you own?
Would they remember how much money you had in the bank?
Would they remember the number of vacations you took?

Would they remember the love you showed?
Would they remember your caring and your sharing?
Would they remember the help you gave them?
Would they remember your smile, your laugh?
What will they remember,
your actions today will determine what they will remember.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Three trees

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty." Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world.

Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull." Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me." After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees.

When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down." When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat. Finally, someone came and got the third tree.

It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Allah had been crucified on it. The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.


Saturday, September 11, 2004

The winner

I was watching some little kids play soccer. These kids were only five or six years old, but they were playing a real game - - a serious game _ two teams, complete with coaches, uniforms, and parents. I didn't know any of them, so I was able to enjoy the game without the distraction of being anxious about winning or losing - I wished the parents and coaches could have done the same.

The teams were pretty evenly matched. I will just call them Team One and Team Two. Nobody scored in the first period. The kids were hilarious. They were clumsy and terribly inefficient. They fell over their own feet, they stumbled over the ball, they kicked at the ball and missed it but they didn't seem to care. They were having fun. In the second quarter, the Team One coach pulled out what must have been his first team and put in the scrubs, except for his best player who now guarded the goal.

The game took a dramatic turn. I guess winning is important even when you're five years old -- because the Team Two coach left his best players in, and the Team One scrubs were no match for them. Team Two swarmed around the little guy who was now the Team One goalie. He was an outstanding athlete, but he was no match for three or four who were also very good. Team Two began to score. The lone goalie gave it everything he had, recklessly throwing his body in front of incoming balls, trying valiantly to stop them. Team Two scored two goals in quick succession. It infuriated the young boy. He became a raging maniac -- shouting, running, diving.

With all the stamina he could muster, he covered the boy who now had the ball, but that boy kicked it to another boy twenty feet away, and by the time he repositioned himself, it was too late -- they scored a third goal. I soon learned who the goalie's parents were. They were nice, decent-looking people. I could tell that his dad had just come from the office -- he still had his suit and tie on. They yelled encouragement to their son. I became totally absorbed, watching the boy on the field and his parents on the sidelines. After the third goal, the little kid changed.

He could see it was no use; he couldn't stop them. He didn't quit, but he became quietly desperate futility was written all over him. His father changed too. He had been urging his son to try harder - yelling advice and encouragement. But then he changed. He became anxious. He tried to say that it was okay - to hang in there. He grieved for the pain his son was feeling. After the fourth goal, I knew what was going to happen. I've seen it before.

The little boy needed help so badly, and there was no help to be had. He retrieved the ball from the net and handed to the referee - and then he cried. He just stood there while huge tears rolled down both cheeks. He went to his knees and put his fists to his eyes - and he cried the tears of the helpless and brokenhearted. When the boy went to his knees, I saw the father start onto the field. His wife clutched his arm and said, "Jim, don't. You'll embarrass him." But he tore loose from her and ran onto the field. He wasn't supposed to - the game was still in progress. Suit, tie, dress shoes, and all - he charged onto the field, and he picked up his son so everybody would know that this was his boy, and he hugged him and held him and cried with him. I've never been so proud of a man in my life.

He carried him off the field, and when he got close to the sidelines I heard him say, "Scotty, I'm so proud of you. You were great out there. I want everybody to know that you are my son." "Daddy," the boy sobbed, "I couldn't stop them. I tried, Daddy, I tried and tried, and they scored on me." "Scotty, it doesn't matter how many times they scored on you.

You're my son, and I'm proud of you. I want you to go back out there and finish the game. I know you want to quit, but you can't. And, son, you're going to get scored on again, but it doesn't matter. Go on, now." It made a difference - I could tell it did. When you're all alone, and you're getting scored on - and you can't stop them - it means a lot to know that it doesn't matter to those who love you. The little guy ran back on to the field - and they scored two more times - but it was okay. I get scored on every day. I try so hard. I recklessly throw my body in every direction.

I fume and rage. I struggle with temptation and sin with every ounce of my being - and Satan laughs. And he scores again, and the tears come, and I go to my knees - sinful, convicted, helpless. And my Father - my Father rushes right out on the field - right in front of the whole crowd - the whole jeering, laughing world - and he picks me up, and he hugs me and he says, "I'm so proud of you. You were great out there. I want everybody to know that you are my son, and because I control the outcome of this game, I declare you -- The Winner."


Saturday, September 04, 2004

Bubble dream

When your kisses fall on my hand ,
my tear drops have fallen like pouring rain.
When you smile telling me that we're gonna meet again,
to me it doesn't make any sense.
If you don't catch me when you can,
why bother putting me in your future plan?
No matter how glamours our future may seem,
it's still like a bubble dream.
Now is what stands in front of us,
but you pay no attention to it.
Never mind. I'd better face it.
Together we are only too different to be.

Bait-bait kata ini aku tiupkan pada sang angin agar ia mampu membawanya ke ruang pendengaran february.
Biar dia tahu betapa sukar melekangkan ingatan ini pada memori lalu,
Biar dia tahu, rasa kasih di hati ini sudah berkeping menjadi buku.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Sebuku roti

"Bread" membawa maksud roti dalam bahasa Inggeris. Berbelit juga lidah bila mana Sir Suhaimi suruh menyebut semasa darjah empat. Salah sebut berdiri atas kerusi. Salah lagi atas meja. Merahlah kulit dicubitnya jika salah lagi. Garang!

Balik sekolah mandi sungai, terjun parit. Petang hari lastik burung, main guli. Aci kejar dan polis sentri turut mengisi hari. Budak kampung. Anak kampung! Mana mungkin roti atau “bread” ini jadi makanan.

Aku suka nasi. Hari-hari emak masak nasi. Macam-macam nasi. Arwah abah suka nasi dengan gulai lemak cili padi ikan “lome”. Riduan mungkin tahu ikan ini. Paling digemari di mukim kuala kangsar. Sedap namun tulangnya beribu.

Tapi ikan ini perlu goreng dulu elak reput digaul gulai. Abah suka garing. Abang juga sama. Anak emas abah memang macam itu. Mak, kakak-kakak lain dan aku tak kisah. Telan saja. Tapi Abah, Yong, Nyah dan Abang tak makan ikan keli. Emak kata, “makan saja, keli-keli ini kita yang punya”. Yang dan aku menyeringai hingga telinga. Seronoknya ikan keli goreng, bakar, masak lemak cili padi dan sambal tumis.

Tak mungkin kami “pandang roti”. Pernah juga tengok iklan roti “gardenia”. Berjenama. Roti masuk tv roti orang kaya. Mahal!. Tak pernah rasa. Pernah juga terliur tengok iklan susu F&N. Susu dituang pada sekeping roti. Macam sedap. Tapi lupa kembali bila atas kain “saprah” ada nasi. Nasi makanan kami.

Sedari dua tiga hari ini, adi selalu mengepit roti. Dibawanya ke atas ke bawah ke kanan ke kiri. Jenamanya “daily” bukan “gardenia” seperti dalam tv. “90 kupang beli di koperasi”, panjang muncung adi sambil seronok menyandar di meja studi. Cantik muncung serupa karikatur tiga gadis pingitan! Bukan adi sahaja dengan roti. Kami memang berdamping dengan roti. Bezanya aku tak mengepit roti ke kanan kiri.

Tafsiran mengenai sedapnya nasi aku simpan jauh-jauh dalam laci terbawah. Berkunci. “Sukanya roti!”. Bakar, letak sikit “peanut butter” dan susu pekat. Sedap! Benar sedap. Tapi tak sehingga menjilat ibu jari kaki.

Pernah bersungguh adi bawa “sandwich” dan sesuku tin baki kuah sardin. Adi terlambat kali ini. Kerap tidak pernah dia lewat. Empat keping roti bakar “plain” telah pun mencecah perut. Kenyang! Adi menelan kesemua “sandwich” berbaki ini. Terlukis kesungguhan dia mahu aku menjamah hidangan itu. “Orang kurus memang macam ni”, pantas aku berdalih. Tak sanggup lagi menjamah roti.

Terkulat-kulat adi menelan. Macam tercekik. Sambil bercerita dia mengunyah. Hati aku berdesir sayu. “Getirnya!”. Adi mengajar aku untuk terus tabah. Baki dompet yang semakin menyusut membuatkan pena digapai untuk menulis “Never Quit”, garapan idea Lewis Timberlake.